Hunter McIntyre

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"You know the drill."

Twins were born today. Harper first then Liam, who screamed his little head off. I'm going back to them now, have fun.

Today was May 4th, better known as Star Wars Day in my household. We spent a good portion of the day watching the original series, even though Tally occasionally got bored and demanded I paint her toenails. At least the kids could probably hear it, I'm trying to get Star Wars imprinted on them early, which shouldn't be too hard as a lot of stuff in the nursery is Star Wars related. And Tally is already planning to have us dress as the Skywalkers for Halloween when the kids are old enough.

I told her I make a better Han than I do a Vader, especially when I'll have Mitch on-hand to be my Chewie. Just have to tell him not to shave for a day and he'll be perfect.

Today my wife grabbed me by the collar, shook me and demanded that I 'get these things out of her'. The next couple months will be fun for us. I'm so thankful to be a guy, you couldn't pay me to endure half the stuff she has had to put up with.

( Hey Mitch... )

Nearly fell asleep while I was making dinner tonight, this is what happens when I don't have caffeine for... I can't remember how long ago it was. And now there isn't anything sweet or sugary in the house, so double trouble. She says I don't have to be on the same diet when I'm at work but she still glares at me and rubs her belly in warning when she suspects that I've had something she can't.

So I give up, ladies. Being pregnant really sucks and it's all my gender's fault it happens to you. We're all very, very sorry. So can I please have just a very tiny cup of coffee to fight off the withdraw headaches?

I've decided that Tally (not that Tali, my Tally) works for Cerberus. I'm trying to save the galaxy from the Reapers but she keeps cutting in, says that Mass Effect 3 has to be put on hold for eating, sleeping, showering, cuddling, work ect. She just doesn't understand, or she's been indoctrinated.

Oh, and the nursery is mostly finished.

All packed up and ready to move tomorrow, so tonight is the last night in this house for Tally and me. I'm okay with that I think. Time to start anew now that I'm married and am gonna be a father soon and the lake house is perfect for us. Tally has already been looking at floor plans for a tree house she wants me to build so I'm sure there will always be something to do out here where it's a little more quiet.

And Mitch, if you read this before I see you tomorrow, Tally says you'll get a better discount on the house if you bring your girl over for dinner after we've settled in.

( Questions and Answers meme )

For the love of god, someone take these pregnancy books away from me. Here are just a few of the things I've learned so far:

- Some women can be pregnant for over a year.
- All children can masturbate in utero, but boys are the only ones who can be caught while aroused on the sonogram.
- Some women can end up tearing from the vagina to the anus during labor.
- Most women will shit themselves while in labor.
- And women often go up a whole shoe size while pregnant.

I don't want this information in my brain!

( I knew bringing TV into the house was a bad idea )

I think my mother-in-law might be trying to kill me. I was on the roof today replacing a few shingles and just as I was working with the nail gun she decides to yell up at me that apple and pear are good names for twins. I laughed so hard that I nearly put a nail through my hand.

Damn hippies.

Also I'm not naming my children after food, adjectives or notoriously incestuous twins from a galaxy far far away. Tally's been getting a real kick out of everyone who has been shouting random names at me when I'm running errands around town, so thanks for that. But I think it's best for all of us that we keep the pregnant lady entertained, though I will ask that nobody throw out any more Nicholas Sparks inspired names. I don't want to be arrested for assault.

[Private to Mitch]
So now that you've got somebody who's able to wake up next to you without screaming does this mean that you're settling down? If so I have a house to sell you.

Ugh, losing to Kansas City. How does that even happen without a sniper? That's it, I don't think I can watch any more football after that.

Also, we have a dog now.

EDIT: The wife made me post a pic, here's the lame-brain dog.

***I swear that I love my wife, I love being a husband, I love my unborn children and I will love being a father. I mean it and I want everyone to know it.***

That being said...

I might actually miss the days when she was too tired to do much. She suddenly became more energetic and her appetite for everything has come back with a vengeance over this last week. At least she's encouraged me to try and get my 'army body' back, which means I can hide out at the gym when I need to. These next few months will be very long, I'm sure.

Mitch, let's go out tonight. I need a bit of fun before I have to go back to work.

Also, Logan, you need to come too. I've got something to tell you and we need to work out a strategy.

Anyone else think there's something in the water here? I genuinely overheard two of my guys having this conversation:

-'Yeah, but it's the time outside the frame of reference of the thing that's travelling. If you're the beam of light-'
-'I am. I am a shining beam of light.'
-'No, Ed, you're a beautiful snowflake.'

Found this link sitting on my desktop today. I'm thinking it's some sort of message.

Wow.

Heartbeats. Yes, beats not beat.

Twins. We're having twins, somebody come and pick me up off the floor.

It's 4am here in Paris and I haven't adjusted to the time change yet, so I thought I'd jump on here for a little while. I have a wonderful wife, I have to say that because we spent the evening at the Moulin Rouge where there were so many bare breasts I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Anyway, I forgot to take a picture of the room before we dressed down and messed it up, but I did grab a picture from the restaurant on the roof which is stunning.

Anyway, I think if we could get Jabba sent to us then we'd likely never come home.

Does anyone know the French for 'please excuse my wife, she is over-excited'?

So I lied to Talia about the honeymoon, but before the mob gathers I'll say it was a good thing. She thought that we were spending the two weeks here but actually I'm taking her to Paris in the morning. She hasn't squealed so loudly since we video messaged on the day she graduated high school, and that was nearly loud enough to hear in Iraq without the microphone.

Anyway, she's still dancing about but she did order me to tell everyone. So I am. There. That is all.